Passing the Torch

Our older son Alex recently got married to a lovely woman named Nicole. They married in Palm Springs, California. I posted about Palm Springs and our son’s wedding last month on my blog. But this month, I wanted to write about how marriage is such a big rite of passage that is inspires many other things to happen. For example, when our 30-year-old son told us he was going to get married, hubby Rick and I decided this was time to update our wills. Alex is now old enough to be the executor of our estate and so we decided to update our wills to reflect that. He was a child when we last did our wills.

We informed Alex that he will be our executor of our estate when we are both dead and gave him a copy of our financial assets. He was willing to take on the task, even though he doesn’t really understand what is involved. He was more reluctant to think about us not being around and kept saying that wasn’t something he wanted to happen. Not later, not ever! After the wedding, we also learned that the parents of Alex’s bride also shared their financial information with their daughter, putting all the relevant information on a flash drive for her.

So when one’s children marry, it’s not just a joyful event but also an acknowledgement that they are now in the prime of their lives, while we parents are getting near the end of ours. And this is the nature of life. We grow up, get married, sometimes, have children, perhaps, and then the cycle begins again with one’s children. There is much joy in seeing one’s children happily married, but there is sadness too because it requires a letting go, an admission that we will pass away, just as our parents have done before us.

Our younger son, Andy, recently asked me to promise that I would live to be 100 because he said, “I can’t live without you.” It was a touching moment and I totally understood what he meant, as I miss my mother too, and think of her every day. Mothers (and fathers) and children can have a tremendous bond of unconditional love, if they had a healthy relationship. So there’s nothing quite like that. But the truth is this:

None of us gets to live forever

We must take solace in knowing that when we or our loved ones ones are gone

Love still endures

It’s the only thing that lasts

So make the most of each day

Love without reservation or hesitation

Because one day you will be gone

All that will remain are the memories of your loved ones

They now carry the torch of light and love into the future